030911

Today I chose my clothes, I did my make up, well, I really liked my eyebrows today.

I wore my favorite tights, it always make me feel I’m special.

I know I looked good today, at least to myself.

And the night turned out to be another bad night.

I hate to dish this out to you but have you ever really truly want to help me integrate into this hostile environment at all? Why don’t you ask yourself that? Ya I know people change and you went from bad to worse. I wonder where’s the person I used to know? You always said why do people compare themselves to people that arnt better or equivalent, yet the comparison is always with people worse. Well so why did you instead of becoming a better friend become the worst person in my current life? Correct, I am NOT your responsibility! Then don’t over-promise me and don’t even try to be nice! Why are you doing things that contradict what you say?

So really, who are YOU?

And if you really want to know, ya things that you do or say really hurt me sometimes. Why do you ask why am I not staying with Dandy or why am I in Perth? What is your issue? The more you are like that, the more I want to return home. Dandy won’t even talk to me like that.

Do you think you and your friends are too good for me? Or issit that Perth is your place and you hate that I’m here? Sometimes I’m silent when I’m around you, because I don’t even wish to speak to you anymore. I shared my life, my friends, my things and almost everything with you. I’m not even asking for you to share yours with me now. What I want is for you to help me and all you did is make me feel worse and ditch me aside, while you lead your superior life.

If you think you’re so much better than me or that you don’t wish to be around me why do you even talk to me? Stop kissing me on my cheek or forehead then I rathe someone who really cares for me kiss me.

I don’t need you to pity me. I really don’t. The question here is really, who the fuck are you?! Or are you punishing me for what I’ve done? I can only tell you I’m sorry for what I did and I changed for the better, how about you?

I’m so filled with disgust and disappointment I don’t think I will be able to continue with filter.

As the saying goes…

I believe that one’s life depends on one’s decisions, and solely on that. Like what one can interpret from 種瓜得瓜， 種豆得豆.

Basically, you harvest what you plant. Which I’ll say what you receive will base on your decision. And ya it is actually revolving around the ideology of Karma.

Then why do I never get what I’ve decided on? Why do I always get shit? I didn’t plant shit yo. So what, are you telling me I suck as a farmer because I always have bad harvest? Well at least lousy farmers get bad harvests I get absolutely nothing.

Like if I went to plant some corns and I expect to get some corns so I wait for the corns to grow and I give my suppose-to-be-corns maximum love care and concern that is within my capability. But I get like, carbon dioxide.

Am I retarded?

29 March 2011

Rarely do I wish for anything. However, right now, I just want an outlet for the mess I’m feeling. I think I need a punching bag, or a pool to jump into, or an empty space to shout at, or a light to run to.

Actually you know what I just need to fucking slim down. All my problems will be solved instantly. 

Theres so much to say, but not here and not to anyone or anywhere. I am going to bottle it up and suck everything in because thats what I know how to do best.

Carlos Santana ft. Steven Tyler - Just Feel Better

I’ll do anything to just feel better

•

Your skin is a peculiar mixture of purple velvet, mocha scented candles and tom-yam noodles warmth. 

Strange yet comfortable. 

Then again…

I changed my mind I discovered many beautiful cameras today. I SHOULD CUT OFF MY WIFI AT HOME UGHHHH. Okay la but at least like that Im making smart choices with my money BUT SERIOUSLY YOU KNOW I VERY INDECISIVE AND EASILY INFLUENCED AND SWAYED RIGHT KNN.

Anyway I feel like a Godzila because I FEEL LIKE FUCKING TEARING EVERYTHING AROUND ME DOWN AND STOMPING ON ALL OF THOSE RUBBISH AND JUST ROLL AROUND IN ASH.

But guess what I cant cos my eyes are hurting and I am too lazy to go and remove my contact lens.

I suspect my hormone is imbalance BECAUSE I WANT TO SCREAM AT EVERYTHING. EVERYTHINGGGGG.

Plans I have for future money

Before I even start on the never ending list of useless things I want I would like to say,

KNNCCB YOU KNOW HOW LONG I TYPE THE FUCKING ENTRY GOT PICTURE SOME MORE YOU NEVER SAVE AS DRAFT NEVER POST KNN WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

WASTE MY TIME!

Okay NOW I FEEL SO LAZY TO EVEN TYPE OUT WHAT I WANT YOU KNOW OR NOT FUCK.

1. Diana with Flash

Okay now I can develop my pictures. I am not excited now because I AM STILL ANGRY THAT MY LAST POST DID NOT GET PUBLISHED OR SAVED WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFF I WANT TO KICK A DUGONG.

Nice ah! The white Diana. I thinking if I should order from Urban Outfitter. Maybe I should :D

2. Printer with Wifi MUST PRINT PHOTO

I also dnoe why I want to print so many photos. I think I want to make album. Like cool hor?

3. Wacom Bamboo pen & touch or Intuous4

Both looks damn good right? I knowwwwwww…. Ive yet to compare the functions though.

OKAY LA NABEI I LAZY ALREADY LA OKAY.

Rubbish bin

All of you come to me with your problems. I can take it all in. No problem. I can take anything in. My ears are good I can listen and my lips are sealed, I know I’m good at this and I appreciate and want to listen.

But what about my problems?

tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?

A papaya

View high resolution

I WANT THIS FUCKING BADLY I WILL FUCKING DO ANYTHING IF YOU GET THIS FOR ME. I SWEAR, ANYTHING!!!

Then again I have a working polaroid camera already so what’s the point?!